


Shingeki no Collie

by billymermays



Series: Border Collies [2]
Category: Aladdin (1992), Hannibal (TV), New Girl, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Tangled (2010), Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Multi, rated t for intense yodeling and mentions of cannibalism, total brotp between will graham and a (not) border collie can i get a hell yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 19:43:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1084962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billymermays/pseuds/billymermays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and the dogs are all border collies.<br/>Every last one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shingeki no Collie

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to Computer for the heart touching Will Graham/Winston bromance scene.

Historia turned off the radio.

"Hey, Ymir, do you want to get a dog?"

Ymir shrugged, "uhhhh what kind?" "A border collie, obviously. Aren't all dogs border collies?"

"True."

"So dog or no dog."

"Yeah ok."

So the cute and very happy and never sad at all couple went out to find a store with some sort of canine children for sale.

Some sort of carnivoriorius fur human boutique perhaps.

They were a very cute and happy couple.

Happy happy happy 

ahaha

_:)_

Ymir bit her thumb and turned into a giant naked person suddenly.

Historia hopped on her back and Ymir danced all the way to the nearest pet store.

They were very eco-friendly, the Reiss's, they had no car so they produced no ~~emotions~~ err emissions.

They had no car, but Ymir had anemia.

She was on a strict no people diet these days, which kept her from replenishing her blood.

It had been hard news to break to Dr. Lector as well, that she could no longer attend his dinner parties.

"A shame indeed, Mrs. Reiss." He had said, making a threatening look as if to say, no one skips out on my dinner parties, you're next on the menu.

Ymir, however, went hulk on that shit and smashed Dr. Lecters house.

He was crushed under the rubble of his home and was paralysed, which led to him being fed through a tube in a hospital.

He would never eat a human again.

Anyway, they got to the pet store.

Will Graham was there, watching over the shop.

He high fived Ymir and congratulated her on ruining the life of the man who had imprisoned him.

And, like, fed him people against his will(graham *cue laugh tracks* )?

But worst of all.

He had separated Will from his dogs.

"Hey Will, we want a dog."

"So do I, Historia."

"You have like 10 I'm surprised they haven't been removed from your custody."

"Yeah." Will sighed dreamily, remembering WInstons cute little face. Awwwe, Winston. <4

"Will?"

"Yeah"

"Can we get a dog"

"Oh yeah. What kind?"

"A border collie, Will."

"Ahaha oh yeah, I forgot about the sheriff's secret police's new law. The one where all dogs are border collies."

Historia's voice dropped and she whispered sharply, "don't let them know you know Will. You'll have to report for reeducation."

"Well, let me tell you, the vivid hallucinations really let you off the hook in this town, Historia."

Suddenly one of the border collies began to speak

"yeah, you'll find out for yourselfsoon enough

Historia"

"did you guys hear that? Was i hallucinating???" she whispered

"Nah," Ymir said, "I heard it too."

"Yeah, Winston over there just likes to talk." Will said,

Winston was Wills best friend.

HE was not actually a border collie.

But then again

weren't all dogs border collies

 

"oh is that winston? he is cute youre right"

"HE IS NOT FOR ADOPTION"

"Will calm down friend ill never leave you" winston reminded him.

"Why can that dog talk." Ymir inquired.

"WEll," winston countered,"Thats because im actually a human. I share a house with a couple man children and zooey deschanel. You may have seen that show before.

I have a cat now, but idk I've been spending a lot of time with will though tbh"

"Oh." Ymir and Historia nodded now, in understanding.

"Do you have a border collie though will"

"Oh yeah"

HE gave them a border collie (it was a pomeranian) which they named yumikuri in honor of all of those anime nerds that had supported their romantic endeavors

er

not that either of them knew about that

they left, leaving will and winston alone.

;)

"Hey will you wanna watch some tv?" asked Winston.

"no I don't really feel like it" will graham started walking outside. Winston followed him, concerned

  
"ok well then we could go fishing…or play basketball….come on buddy, not this again." will walked into the snowy landscape outside, and if the pet store's doors were not automatic he would have probably gotten a lot of splinters.   
once will was outside in the snow, he looked up at the sky. 

  
The stars made a constellation that looked like a border collie. 

  
A border collie with feathers and giant antlers and a very stag-like face and body.

   
Will fell down on his knees in the middle of the street and Winston stood next to him to make sure no one would run him over.

  
Then Will began to yodel, in hoarse, cracked tones, that sounded a bit like the mating call of the norwegian border collie stag,  
"rudolph the red nosed border collie"

  
"had severe encephalitis"

  
"all of the other border collies"

  
"used to laugh and call him names"

"it's beginning to look a lot like dead people"

"all throughout the year"

"roasting human flesh in an open fire"

"because you had leftover breakfast from your cannibal psychiatrist""

  
after long enough, Winston had to push Will out of the road so he wouldn't get hit by oncoming traffic. Winston carried will back inside and laid him on the couch, then made him chicken soup. Will just glared.

  
"Oh right sorry I forgot you're strictly candyterian now." So winston got Will Graham a huge jar of jellybeans. Will Graham grabbed a handful, but then the one at the top started to talk. 

  
"did you know the average lifespan of a timelord is 2,500 yea--" Will Graham ate the mameshiba jellybean border collie anyway. Winston was very concerned.

  
"dude i think you just ate a border collie."

  
"just be glad you're not a border collie, winston." said will, with menace.

  
"shh man if they find out they might make me go to the dog park"

  
"you're right. im sorry. ill stick to sour patch kids now." 

  
"Do you really think that's a good idea. Given their name and your luck they're probably going to be like real kids or something" 

  
"yeah ur probs right I will only eat collieflower from now on"

  
"that's probably not---"

  
"shhh"

  
Will graham sat in front of the warm fireplace and drifted into sleep. winston watched him as he fell asleep.   
"I wish I were as pretty as rapunzel" said Will

  
Winston nodded sagely. 

  
"same man." 

* * *

In Will's dream, he was the most beautiful princess in all the land. 

Winston was there too.

He was the second most beautiful princess in all the land.

They were best princess bros.

Will's name was Rapunzel in this dream.

In this dream he had also never been put in a prison for the criminally insane, nor had he been forcefed people meat.

Alana was his prince.

She made a great prince, that Alana.

They kissed a bunch and Winston got a cat who was not a border collie. 

It was the best dream Will Graham had ever had.

* * *

Rapunzel woke with a start. 

"Eugene do you get the feeling that a dog hoarder who experiences vivid hallucinations do to severe inflamation in his brain is dreaming about us?"'

"Will? Yeah probably." Eugene laughed, "Will's a gr8 guy," he said it just like that too gr8, not great, not gr-eight, just gr8, rapunzel was impressed with her husbands ability to somehow make it be known when he was verbally saying gr8.

She was  _so_ impressed. 

They kissed a bunch and her best friend got a cat that _was_ a border collie.

That Jasmine.

The secret police loved Jasmine, she was always going the extra mile. 

Cats weren't even legally required to be border collies.

_Yet._


End file.
